Nobody likes to do hard things. They’re hard. But think about the accomplishments you truly treasure and the trophies or mementos that mean something to you. They were probably hard to do or get. That’s the irony. Hard things are what we should be looking for and trying to do.
In her best-selling book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, psychologist Angela Duckworth details The Hard Thing Rules that she has implemented for her family. The rules are in place to help her train her daughters in grittiness and to develop an expertise in something they have a passion for.
The Hard Thing Rule has three parts:
- Everyone in the family has to do a hard thing.
- You can quit, but only at a natural stopping point like the end of a season, or after a recital.
- You get to pick your hard thing.
These rules allow for the development of perseverance and grit, but only in an activity that you want to do. It isn’t forced upon you. Plus you know that other people are working on their hard thing. You aren’t alone.
Know you may be wondering what a hard thing is. A hard thing is an acting that requires daily, deliberate practice. Deliberate practice has specific qualities that are characterized by the following:
- Developing skills that have been systematized into effective training techniques.
- A teacher or coach develops a training plan to make small changes that add up to the desired result.
- Training takes place outside your comfort zone and forces you to try things just beyond your present abilities.
- It is NOT aimed at some vague, overall improvement but has specific goals and targeted performance enhancements.
- Feedback is given and efforts are modified because of that feedback.
So if you want to accomplish big things and be known as a gritty person you have to commit to a hard thing or two and get down to the hard work of daily deliberate practice. The first question is to decide what you want to be your hard thing. Is it sports or physically related like weight lifting, dancing, or swimming? Or is it music, comedy, or learning a language?
The next step is to ask who can be your coach, either in person or virtually for a class or program. Who will give you the specific goals for your improvement and the feedback to make modifications to your efforts?
Finally, you have to make the decision to get started and commit to the daily practice. It doesn’t have to be for a lifetime. You can decide what your hard thing is and you can quit at the appropriate time if you want. But choosing something and sticking to it can result in tremendous rewards.
Personally, my hard things are going to be ballroom dance and increasing my vertical jump. For ballroom dance I will be working with a local dance company to have weekly lessons to improve on my Rumba. For the vertical jump I will have a virtual coach to lead me through the exercises. I’ll reevaluate at the end of the year and determine if I want to continue based on the results and how much fun I’m having.
What’s your hard thing and how do you plan on practicing it?